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A wedding in a western society is about a man and a woman starting a life together and is often done under God’s will. But weddings in Africa are seen more like a way of combining two families together. Even though the African societies have different ways of looking at wedding and marriages they still is constantly influenced by the western society and it has become clearer these latest years. In some rich African families they conduct two weddings, one in the traditional style and one influenced by the modern Western cultures. In many African countries wedding customs are changing radically, some couples are even going as far as to "court" themselves and some couples become husband and wife through a situation similar to our common law arrangement. This can be due to the fact that Africa is becoming overpopulated and western countries seem to have an increased influence on the African people. Old and new weddings and customs are changing and adjusting and are becoming more and more like our western wedding traditions.
Another element to consider when reviewing African culture is polygamy (a common form of plural marriage in tribal societies) and it is widely accepted as a lifestyle in Africa. Africa is so diverse and have more than thousands ethnic groups and because of that, specific wedding rituals vary from region to region. Additionally, many Africans have Islamic and Christian influences and that plays a big role in the wedding ceremonies. When it comes to arranged marriages they are mostly common in the Arab areas of Africa, but it is gradually changing and today more young people are choosing their own partners. But still the men tend to be the head of the home, working in the fields and supporting his family, while women tend to work in the home. The majority of people in the North Africa follow the Islamic religion, but general, they obey the Muslim laws on marriage, but with regional variations according to local customs. The non- Muslim populations of the southern Sudan however, generally follow their own customs.
This paper will examine some African groups and their way of looking at marriages and wedding traditions. This paper will also take a closer look at a number of specific countries in different areas of Africa and compare these countries to each other and it will also include a discussion on different types of marriages and traditions belonging to these countries.
In a small city called Lamu, situated outside the coast of Kenya, lives a group of Swahili Muslims with an Afro-Arabic background. In this community the weddings can be going on for a whole week with a lot of festivities consisted of singing, dancing and food. But these festivities are celebrated separate for men and women.
After the "real" wedding the bride is shown in public, with a so-called, kupamba. This ceremony is always taking place the evening after the wedding and it is the grand finale of the passage rite, in which the young bride enters the married women’s world. Today this particularly ceremony has become more in focus than some years ago when the kuinngia ndani (the entry) was the main attraction (Fuglesang, 1993:29). It is a ceremony when the groom is walking down the streets to meet his bride and then complete first phase of the wedding. The kupamba has become more popular of various reasons, but the main reason is the fact that it is an opportunity for women to meet and have a good time without their husbands (Fuglesang, 1993:29). When the enter this party they all take off their black veils and underneath they have beautiful dresses and wonderful haircuts etc. These are often inspired from the latest released movie in Kenya or other foreign influences. It has become a sort of competition to be the best dressed woman at the ceremony, and the one who is considered married to a good husband can make him get her whatever she needs. This ceremony is only for women as said before, but sometimes there are men there, the musicians. Even tough these men break the rule for this kind of ceremony, the women can not stand to live without live music. So they still uses male musicians for these kinds of occasions, even though it is a sin. To film and take pictures of the ceremony is common and it causes troubles. Because when the husbands to the women sees that there are men attended at the ceremony they get furious and sometimes it goes so far as they ask for divorces (Fuglesang, 1993:31-35). Another problem with this kupamba is that many families almost ruin themselves just to be able to have this party for their daughters. The musicians and food cost plenty of money. Sometimes the mother of the bride, female relatives and neighbours have to help out with the food and devote themselves to make the food some days before the ceremony.
The main attraction of the ceremony is when the bride does her entry to the party and when she comes she gets welcomed with applauds and cries of joy. Today’s brides often wears the western kind of bride dresses and it is a opportunity to show themselves "modern" and that they have control of the modern people’s way of live and know how to dress and act. Some wealthy brides make arrangements to have a second kupamba, where they wear the traditional wedding dress and are then showing that they are pride of their own culture and background (Fuglesang, 1993:33). The underlying idea with this ceremony is that the bride is able to become the star of the night like the women in many of the romantic Indian movies. These movies are very famous and popular among the women in Kenya and they are all dreaming to one day be able to look like the Indian moviestars, and at a kupamba they have a chance to do so.
Many fundamentalists claim that the bride’s veil is borrowed from the Christian religion and that many other symbols are borrowed from them as well. The wedding ceremonies seem to change in Kenya today and it becomes more western and the strict religious rules seem to be taken in a less strict way. Even the tradition that the bride must be a virgin at her wedding is no longer compulsory. But in today’s Lamu the brides from the upper class must be virgins because she must protect her family and give the family a good reputation.
It is not only Swahili Muslim who lives in Kenya. Still there are also some groups of Masais living in Kajiado of Kenya. The Masais are pastoral people who tend to follow their old traditions. They believe that women don’t have the same right as men. The Masai society claim that women are having the same position and the same rights as children, who they on their part are considered as some kind of cattle (Vick, 1998:26). Marriage between two people are often arranged and it is common that brides get forced to marry her husband, which sometimes can be resulted in further consequences as sexual violation of cruel husbands.
When man find a woman he wants to marry he have to pay a brideprice to her parents, often a few cattle and sometimes there is money involved as well. Today it has become more common to look for younger brides and this has become a major problem. The Masai people still practice the female circumcision as a ceremony to make the girl a woman, and a when men want to wed younger girls it has become more common to do this ceremony at a earlier stage than usual (Vick, 1998:26-27). For the men who want to wed these younger girls there is another problem. One must have a lot of money and cattle because one must pay more for younger brides. This seems to be a question of economy and that parents of daughters don’t look for their children’s’ best. It is quite evident that they treat women and children as cattle and they don’t care about their own flesh and blood’s feelings.
In southern Sudan lives a Bedouin Black African Arab people called the Baggara (Giles, 1997:40). In this culture a man must give bridewealth to his new wife’s parents if he is to marry her. This gift is often cattle and it is not a price for the bride. It is more like a compensation to the parents for the loss of a working family member and to legally confirm the marriage. Polygamymarriages are typical in these kind of societies and a man can have several wives if he is wealthy and are able to support them all equally. But one thing that differs the Baggara from other polygynous societies is that the first wife to a man is often one of his own cousins (Giles, 1997:43). Cousins on the father’s side are often favoured (Giles, 1997:87).
Among the Nuer people who also are situated in the southern Sudan we can find the bridewealth system too and is treated with respect as in the Baggara society. Here the standard amount of bridewealth cattle are generally between twenty and forty animals (Giles, 1997:86). In the Nuer society a marriage is not completed until the woman has given birth to at least two children and by that a Nuer marriage is said to be a lengthy process and that the man has the right over the woman's fertility and her children (Giles, 1997:85 & Kessing, 1975:253). The Nuer can claim for divorce if the don’t like their marriage and they can also remarry. In many cases it is common that the husband asks for a divorce if his wife only has given him a one child and then he ask for the bridewealth to be returned. But instead of the bridewealth return the only child use to be the one who goes back to the husband’s family as compensation (Keesing, 1981:253)). This can make divorces very difficult.
Something very interesting among the Nuer tribes is something called "ghost marriages". This means that when the husband dies he is replaced as husband to his wife by his own brother or another male relative. But still the dead husband is classed as the father of the children. If the it happens to be the other way around that the wife dies. Than her family could be obligated to find the husband a realcement for example the dead wife's sister, her brither' daughter or some other female relative ( Keesing, 1981:260).
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In Nigeria, in west Africa, a husband never uses his
wife’s name. Only relatives and the women's own children are allowed to use the name
her father gave her and it is only unmarried girls who may be called by name. So
to learn a married woman’s name, one have to ask her husband the name of her
father, and use that. When a couple are about to get married in this community people sing
to inform that the bride is bound and is brought to the young man. Singing and dancing are
two very important fragments in the Nigerian weddings and they are always combined with
a big feast. The bride is keept in a special hut where she stays till he is let
inside. But first he has to give chicken and tobacco to the guest and
when all have got this the bride groom is let inside the brides’s hut and the marrige
is announced. Next day a goat is killed for the bride and the blood is poured over the
threshold of the hut. and the bride’s mother asks her daughter if she is pleased with
the groom. After this the dancing starts again and the drums call make visitors come and
they give the bride a penny to see her face and another penny for camwood to rub her body.
In Nigeria marriage is seen as a bound between blood relations and are considered as very
important (Bowen 1964:46,117,119,137).
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Today the old traditional weddings are changing and are becoming more like the Western-style church weddings. This has more or less become norm in Nigeria today. Eventhough you are born and raised in Nigeria it is still likely to have a Western-style wedding when you are getting married. And the wedding is usually with a church ceremony with a white bride and a reception after the ceremony. The reason behind this can be the Nigerian Church and the missionaries who influenced the Church and the African tribes. But there are some tribes in Nigeria who still live after the old traditions and are preforming the tradtioally wedding ceremonies.
The first step in the wedding process is the first meeting with the both involving families where they investigate each other. At this occation they groom's family donate some gifts to the bride's family, consisting mostly of cattles, yams or money. After this the ceremony the bride comes to live with the groom and his family, and if that turns out to work out a weddingfeast is held. After thet ceremonial feast he bride is concidered married to the groom and his family.
Today's Nigerian weddings tend to follow the Western style traditions which means that the weddings are held in Churches with with dresses, suit, reception etc. But during the reception bride couples usually wear traditional clothes have traditional food and a combination of Aerican and traditional music. Here two diffrent cultures are meeting and this is something that has become more common in the Nigerian weddings today. The Western societies are influencing the African societies with the traditional Western wedding norms with white dresses, receptions etc.
The bride should be a virgin befor the actual wedding, but today there are exceptions. Nowadays the couples usually want to ensure themselves that they can have children, so the bride could be pregnant at the wedding or all ready have children. But this is not allowed in the Nigerian areas with Christian religion. Polygamy marriages exist and are legal in Nigeria, but again the Christian religion forbids it. Pologamy marriages have though become less common in today's Nigeria. This is due to the fact that a man in such a marriage is responsible to provide for his family and to provide for a family is expensive. Because of the economical situation in Nigeria it has become less common with polygamy marriages. ( www.weddingbells.com /canada/help/guestceremony15.html & Bledsoe, 1993:189)
Egypt- the marriage is announced by a procession of drums, bagpipes, belly dancers and men brandishing flaming swords (melanet.com/awg/planning.htlm 1999-04-06).
Many Egyptian women enter the world of marriage at an early age. Usually they get married between twelve and fifteen years old and in some cases they are just ten years old, but that is not very usual. In Egypt it is really common to marry your own cousin because of the blood- relation except in Cairo, where a different arrangement is settled. Marriage-arrangements for couples in Cairo are really interesting. When a man starts to look for a wife his mother or other close female relatives help him to find his bride, or he can seek help from a female khatbah or matchmaker. These female representatives do all in their power to find a suitable and nice bride for the groom. Sometimes parents betroth their daughter with a man without her approval, but it only happens if she hasn’t reached puberty. When she has reached that stage she is free to choose whom she wants to wed, but of course complications use to appear. The father of the bride often refuses to give his daughter to a man that doesn’t have the same profession as him self (Lane, 1998:120-121). Parents usually tries to convince their daughter that their choice of husband is perfect.
When a woman is going to get married she turns to a wakíl, a kind of proxy of her marriage and if the woman hasn’t reached puberty a relative is appoint to choose one in her place (Lane, 1998:121). After this negotiations starts and the arrangements for the wedding may also begin. In front of witnesses a brideprice has to be settled and than both sides have to agree on the marriage. When everything is settled the first chapter of the Koran is read out laud to confirm the agreement and after that a date for the ceremony is decided. In some cases the marriage begins directly after the agreement on the brideprice and there is never a real wedding. But on the day the wedding has been fixed for, the groom usually goes with some friends to the bride’s home and pay some of the brideprice they have agreed on. Now the real wedding ceremony takes place in front of at least two witness who must be Muslims. The bride and the groom sit face to face on the floor and with their right thumbs against each other. A faqíh, a schooled Koran reader put a handkerchief on the couples hands and read and pray from the Koran and asks the bride's wakíl to give away the bride t the groom (Lane, 1998:123). There after the groom replies by saiyng that he accept the bride and that he promise to take her under my wings and provide for her and give her my protection. A couple of days after the ceremony the groom welcomes his bride to his home and alltheir frinds and relatives are invited too to come and congratulate (Lane, 1998:124).
This is one of the old traditional Egyptian wedding traditionsand it was most common during the 1900s century and this is not really today's wedding traditions.
Among the Mende people in the Southeast of Sierra Leone it is common with polygynous marriages. But it is common with divorces, remarriages and widow inheritance as well. The budget for the husband and his wives are separated and make it easy for a man to have several wives. A man who lives in a polygynous marriage gives different positions with different tasks to his wives, one " senior wife" or so- called "head-wife", one "official wife" and finally one "beloved wife". The one with who comes from a higher status family often become the "official wife" all the others, if there are any are "junior wives" or so-called "small wives" (Bledsoe, 1993: 170-174).
The !Kung are an egalitarian, band society that have traditionally survived by hunting and gathering in the Kalahari desert of western Botswana and eastern Namibia. Traditionally, the search for a marriage partner for a girl or a boy usually begins soon after the child is born. Girls get married pretty early around a age between twelve to sixteen after they have had their first menstruation. Boys, in contrast, are between twenty and thirty and often ten years older than their wives. The reason is that they must prove that they are real men and kill a large animal to show the audience that they will manage to provide for a family. All first marriages are arranged by the parents and may involve a decade of gift exchange before the children are actually wed. But these gifts are no bride-prices, they are just exchanged primarily to celebrate the occation (Shostark, 1990:127).
In seeking a suitable companion for their children, parents must pay particular attention to the kinship and name relationships of the prospects. The !Kung forbids incest and people may not because of this marry a closely related kin or not even a first cousin. Boys are in their choice of partners forbidden to marry a girl with his mother's or sister's name. Aside from the proper kinship-name connection, the parents of a girl look for several other qualities in a son-in-law. He should be a good hunter and must not have a reputation as a fighter. He should not be too many years older than their daughter, be co-operative and generous (Shostark, 1990:128).
Before the actual wedding takes place there are a lot of negotiations and gift exchanges and after that the real wedding starts. Members from both families build a hut for the groom and his bride and it is set apart from the rest of the village. When it is done they take the girl from her parents’ hut to this new built hut and the groom wakes there as well and sit by the door. After that coal is brought to the hut from the fires of both families and they start a new fire in front of the hut. Everyone, except the couple, join in the festival and sing, pay and joke. After everyone leaves the couple spend their first night together and the next morning the couples mothers rub their married children in with oil and head back home to their villages (Shostark, 1990:130-131).
After the marriage the groom comes to live with the bride's family at her parents’ village for a period of years and to hunt for them. This is because the bride is not expected to leave her mother when she is so young. Only after several children have been born can he take his wife and family back to his own people. Often elderly men wed younger girls and stay with her family and just waits for her to grow and sexually mature while his other wife stay at his home. Even though they are not that common anymore polygamous marriages exist in the !Kung society. Monogamous marriages is the most common but there is quite a few people who lives in polyandrous union (sharing one woman).Although polygamy is allowed and men desire it, it is the wives who in general oppose this form of union. Polyandry is even less common and is considered an irregular union. When it occurs, it is usually between older people past childbearing age. The ability to heal seems to be a sign of power among the !kung and therefore taking more than one wife may be one of the few status symbols associated with it (Shostark, 1990:170-171).
By given a closer look at these specific countries and their wedding traditions and marriages it is evident that Africa consists of many different ethnic groups and their customs varies between the groups. There are arranged marriages, polygynous marriage and others. But even though there are different groups, traditions and different marriages they have one specific thing in common and that is the movement of changes of the weddings and marriages which is influenced by the Western societies. It is happening rapidly and the old traditions are constantly fading away in the past. The old tribal traditions are disapearing and the tribes are more likely to live after the Western rules of society and by that people are having more western tradtional wedding and are more likely to involve themselves in "man and wife" marriages. One theory why this has happened could be that the missionaries who came to Africa introduced the Western religion and the Church.They influenced and sometimes forced people to obay the Christan religion, which includes the traditional Western weddings, and this has grown through the years. A nother suggested reason for the Western influences could be that the economic sistuation for African countries has made the polygamy marrriages to become less common. It is too expensive to provide for a family with several wives and that is way the Western Monygamy has become the more popular norm. But still it could be said that African weddings include a lot of music by rhythmical drums, rich of colours and people are happy, cheering and clapping. This is something that has always exist both in the Western society and the African society and this will hopefully never change.
Links to other culture's wedding traditions and marriages:
Bibliography:
Bledsoe. C. (1993) The polotics of polygyny in Mende education and child fosterage transactions in Miller. B. D. (1993) Sex and Gender hierarchies. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
Bowen. E.S. (1964) Return to Laughter. New York: Anchor Books Doubleday.
Fuglesang. M. (1990) Film som romantikens verktyg in Hannerz.U. (1993) Medier och Kulturer. Helsingborg: Carlssons
Giles. B. (1997) Peoples of North Africa. New York: Diagram Visual Information
Giles. B. (1997) People of Southern Africa. New York: Diagram Visual Information
Giles. B. (1997) People of Central Africa. New York: Diagram Visual Information
Keesing. R.M. (1975) Cutural Anthropology, A contemporary Perspective. Orlando: The Dryden Press.
Lane. E. W. (1998) De moderna Egyptiernas seder och bruk. Furulund: Alhambra.
Moore. H. L. (1988) Feminism and anthropology. Oxford: Polity Press.
Shostark. M. (1990) Nisa, the life and words of a !Kung woman. London: Earthscan Publications Ltd
Vick. K. (1998) Ovillig brud utmanar gamla seder och bruk i Afrika in the magazine Tempus (1998, volume 28, 9-15 July).
Internet: melanet.com/awg/planning.htlm 1999-04-06.
Internet: www.weddingbells.com /canada/help/guestceremony15.html 1999-06-06.